Something Unusual, Something Strange
by Kayka
Summary: Jareth's pleased grin was almost infectious, but then he had to go and open his big fat mouth. Direct sequel to 'Nothing Unusual, Nothing Strange.' Sareth. Snarky and fluffy and date-y. As requested.
1. I Immediately Regret This Decision

**Disclaimer:** Really, though, fanfiction is like a modern version of the folktale. We take a story we know and selflessly spend hours adding our own twist on it to perpetuate the story of the original. And we don't get jack-diddly for abusing other people's characters. I, for one, think it's a wonderful system. It's also kind of sad that no one actually reads these, either. Grape.

**A/N:** You should ideally read the prequel to this first. No, really, it's necessary reading. This picks up immediately from where '_Nothing Unusual, Nothing Strange_' left off. It's only a one-shot. You can do it. I believe in you. If you already have read the prequel, you might still want to brush up if it's been a while. Because continuity.

* * *

**Chapter 1: I Immediately Regret This Decision**

* * *

Sarah very nearly grinned along with him, but then Jareth had to go and ruin everything by opening his big fat mouth.

"I do so strive to live up to your expectations of me, even if they _are_ exhausting."

The novelty of the Goblin King's reappearance in her life had worn off, and Sarah's lack of sleep was catching up with her. Screw her yoga routine; she was going to crawl in bed as soon as she got rid of the nuisance occupying her living room.

Speaking of the nuisance, he was still kneeling before her and apparently had the gall to start fiddling with a lock of her hair.

New Years' Day set the tone for the rest of one's year, but she'd be damned if that meant she had being-regularly-tormented-in-her-own-home to look forward to for the rest of this one. 'Date Agreement,' or no.

"If I'm so exhausting, why don't you go and find someone else to annoy?"

"Oh no, Dear-heart, it's you I want."

The facetious veneer was firmly back in place. Yippity skippity.

"Why?"

He finally moved away to lean against the arm of her love seat.

"You complete me."

The twitch of his mouth betrayed him, and Sarah might have actually growled in response.

"Excellent. It's all settled then," Jareth inclined, nodding in finality.

"Wait, what?"

_Settled?_ How could anything be _settled_? They hadn't even talked about what all this deal entailed!

Jareth straightened and looked as though he were about to magic himself away. Sarah flew from her chair and grabbed his wrist, heedless of the consequences in that moment.

"Where are you going?"

The Goblin King looked disgustingly pleased.

"Now Sarah, if you want me to stay, you need only ask."

His voice dropped toward the end, and Sarah was pretty sure that there was something wrong with the heating. She should not be so very warm in January.

"That's not what I- Aren't we going to discuss the terms of," She didn't exactly know what to call it and gestured vaguely, "this date arrangement thingy? You can't just pop in and out any time you damn well please."

His Cheshire smile was beatific. Sarah's recently retired hackles were called back to service, as every hair on the back of her neck rose.

What the hell had she gotten herself into?

"Ah, ah, love. The time for negotiations is past. Limitations on my comings and goings were never stipulated in our agreement, and therefore, you will find that I very well _can_."

She began to fully comprehend just what she agreed. Jareth asked for thirteen dates, and all she responded with was that she had high expectations. That was _it_. As long as he lived up to her expectations, he had free reign.

Brilliant, Sarah. Give the man a practically open invitation back into your life. No, no, don't discuss it first. _Sure_ it will be fine, and he'll totally behave like a civilized human adult and not a tricky fey king from another dimension.

She had known her unconditioned acceptance would prove to be a mistake the moment it exited her mouth. She should have expected him to be intractable once he had her assent. After all, why would he willingly give up any power she had just so unwittingly given him? What was said was said, after all.

Sarah took deep calming breaths. Screw the dates. She wasn't even going to make it twenty minutes without throttling him.

"Negotiations may be over but there should at least be some ground rules that we both agree on," she attempted reasonably.

"Hmm, still sounds like negotiating to me, Precious-thing."

The King affected an air of disinterested nonchalance. He was up to something.

"I suppose that I could be persuaded to bargain," he focused his gaze unwaveringly on her own, as though testing her mettle, "though I would ask a boon of you."

Sarah eyed him warily as he continued.

"As a gesture of good faith. On your part and mine."

She may have inadvertently agreed to date him with no restrictions beyond the number of dates, but Sarah was far from stupid. She didn't trust him any farther than she could throw him, which coincidently was probably not that far, even if she _did_ manage to get a nice tight spiral on him.

"And what exactly would that be?"

"A kiss."

Aw, hell. He _would_ have to go and say _that_. She could practically hear the 'nothing more' attached to it. She wasn't prepared for this. Agreeing to date him was one thing, but she thought she would have time to get used to the idea before he went and pulled something like this.

"Do I get a boon of you then?"

The Goblin King apparently felt incredibly smirky today. Sarah idly wondered if it was his default expression or if he really just enjoyed tormenting her.

"I was hoping that you would find my request mutually beneficial."

Her money was on the latter.

She did not recall him being nearly so smiley when she was fifteen. Though, to be fair, there were a lot of other things she had not noticed about him then, either. Like how snuggly tailored his pants were.

Ah, drifting. Not good.

Sarah crossed her arms, the picture of defiance in lounge pants.

"And if I decline?"

"Our arrangement stands as is."

_Liberties and all_.

Damn, she was rusty. She blamed it on inadequate sleep. And inadequate sleep could be blamed on the Goblin King deeming it of upmost importance to wake her in the middle of the night and start this whole farce. She also believed that she had reached and exceeded her quota for otherworldy interactions for the day.

"Is this a game to you?"

"Oh, yes."

Sarah found the flare of single minded intensity in Jareth's eyes a teensy bit frightening, and perhaps an equivalent teensy bit appealing to her romantic sensibilities.

"One that I am very intent on winning."

As far as she was concerned, her romantic sensibilities could go jump off a cliff. Preferably into the nearest bog.

She was a grown, adult woman and really should not be getting so flustered over the idea of a kiss.

Sarah wasn't concerned with the kiss itself.

That was a lie.

She was mildly concerned with the kiss itself.

Mostly though, Sarah worried over the possible implications of aforementioned kiss.

But could she really afford to have Jareth running about with complete freedom to ruin her life?

"Okay, I agree to one kiss, if we can set some ground rules that we both agree upon." Sarah had a sudden burst of brilliance. She couldn't let him continue to get the best of her today. After all, such would be horrible for her reputation. "But the kiss comes after."

Annoyance colored Jareth's face for a split second, but then he grinned at her, widely and toothily. The baring of teeth could barely be construed as a smile; it was too predatory. Though, she didn't really know what else to call it. And a look like that did things to a girl.

Like make her swallow convulsively. In abject horror. Not at all like a deer bracing itself against an impending collision with a spot-lighting motor vehicle. Nope. Horror. Definitely.

"All the better. A kiss to seal the agreement."

The better to bind you with, my dear.

"Okay, then." Sarah found her head, foregoing any more comparisons to fairytale creatures. _Other_ fairytale creatures, she mentally amended. "All right. No randomly popping in uninvited."

"But what if you _want_ me to pop in uninvited?"

"Fat chance," she groused.

"Come, come, love. My unsolicited appearances thus far have been the highlight of your millennia."

Sarah chose to ignore him and forge onward.

"No whisking me away to the underground without my explicit prior-" She was interrupted by the sharp 'tsk' of a tongue derisively clicking against teeth.

"You are determined to eliminate all spontaneity from our relation-"

"No interrupting me when I'm making a poi-"

He pushed off the sofa and insinuated himself closer, eyes glittering with malicious glee.

"Yes, interrupting others is quite rude. You should know better, Sarah-mine. Is that all?"

She stood her ground, refusing to acknowledge the prey instinct to put as much space between herself and the predator as possible.

"Can I have more time to think about it?"

Jareth smiled amiably and shrugged.

"No."

Sarah hesitated for a moment before she settled on wording her most important demand.

"You leave Toby out of this. Completely. No talking, no otherwise contacting, no magical coercion."

Jareth stepped back, his nose wrinkled in displeasure.

"Sarah, had I designs on your brother, I dare say that I would not be visiting _you_."

This was the one thing she refused to budge on. She might be a tad reckless with her own well-being, and Toby may be a teenager now, but he was still her baby brother. And she didn't want to take any chances, no matter how remote.

"No interacting with my brother. At all."

The king's eyes rolled heavenward, though he seemingly noted the stubborn cast to her jaw and conceded.

Sarah one, Jareth… Well, that rankled too much to accept, and she quickly forwent the idea of keeping score.

"Very well. Are you quite finished?"

She knew more issues would crop up later, and she would wish that she had the foresight to include them. But for now, she had addressed everything she deemed important.

"I think so."

"Would you like to hear my counter offer?"

Her mumbled, 'not really' was ignored. Or taken as assent. Negotiating sucked.

"I will continue to arrive at the time of my choosing, though I shall provide you with prior notice."

He must have anticipated her next question because he answered it before she could voice it herself.

"Discretely."

That wasn't _so_ bad.

"Okay."

"I shall whisk you away only when you wish it."

Which would be never, so she felt safe in that regard. She inclined her head for him to continue.

"You shall henceforth use my given name in direct address to myself."

Sarah must have made a face, if his own smug look was any indication. She had agreed to kind-of-sort-of date him, though. So, she couldn't reasonably refuse that request.

"Fine."

"You_ will _endeavor to enjoy yourself and stop treating me with suspicion."

It was her turn to give him the skeptical, patronizing look until he continued on.

"Unless suspicion is warranted. Do we have an accord?"

She wasn't exactly happy with the terms but such was the nature of compromise.

"I guess."

Jareth thrust out his hand as if he were going to shake on it, and years of conditioning on striking bargains with her little brother had Sarah clasping his gloved hand before she remembered that doing so was probably a very bad idea. And rightly so.

The Goblin King hauled her toward himself. Sarah found her hands splayed against his chest with his own clasped behind her back.

Winds magically whipped up in her apartment, and warmth rushed through at every point of contact between them. She idly wondered if he felt the same electricity that she felt quite literally building up between them.

Then, without preamble, his lips caressed hers and Sarah's world exploded.

It was a far cry from the peck she had been expecting. They were making out. _Totally_ making out. They had somehow made it to the love seat that was finally living up to its name, as one kiss became two became more than Sarah cared to count because the logical half of her brain had been thoroughly and methodically shut down all the way from his hand flitting up her side to his mouth eventually shifting for a nip at her earlobe.

Jareth finally pulled away, still hovering above her and looking inordinately pleased with himself.

It took a few seconds for Sarah's brain ooze back into its proper place and reassert higher cognitive functioning. She gave up on her heart resuming a typical, slower rhythm, though. Her shuddering breath was slow in getting back to normal, too.

What was _that_? Did he have some sort of magical kissing seduction powers? She wouldn't doubt it.

"I thought. _One_."

Sarah tried to infuse the ire she felt into her tone, she really did. It wasn't her fault that she still had not quite collected herself, and the words came out all breathy and _affected_. The smugness that radiated off Jareth in that moment could have powered a small city. On Mars. For a decade.

Jareth leaned in again, until he was whispering directly into her ear, "Until tonight, Precious."

He stepped back and tilted his head in appraisal. "And Sarah, wear something... Red."

His exit was showy. And after showing uncharacteristic consideration in not casting off any magical residue when he left after his late-night jaunt in the early hours of the morning, the Goblin King apparently no longer felt any such compunction over leaving her sitting room a vaguely shimmering mess.

Sarah teetered for a moment before collapsing backward onto the loveseat, unable to decide whether permitting the Goblin King's attentions was the worst or best thing she had ever agreed to. _Best_ had a head start in the polls, as the events of moments before were on a replay loop in Sarah's head. A heady mixture of sight and scent and touch and _taste_.

It was minutes later, when her brain took an intermission from kiss-cam-instant-replay-mode!, that Sarah discovered the ridiculous Cosmopolitan magazine she ripped up had disappeared with the king. Judging by the article he started telling her about, most likely along with every scrunchie and elastic hairband she had ever owned.

She nodded then, considering the possibilities and coming to the only logical conclusion.

"This was the worst decision of my life."

* * *

**A/N:** So, after claiming that 'Nothing Unusual, Nothing Strange' was going to forever remain a standalone for the better part of a year, I had those troublesome little things known as 'ideas.' Please note that this story does not have a specific update schedule, as it's playing second fiddle to my other Labyrinth fic project, 'Of Nowhere and Neverwhen.' (If you like this, you'd probably like that story, too. It has the same style of humor and mutual antagonism between our heroes. It's just a tad more clever in its construction.) I just wanted to post the first chapter because it was done, and this is primarily going to be a fluffy little fun story, and I hate sitting on things if they're ready to be posted. I _will_ be working on this. Just not as diligently.

...Now. What endearingly obnoxious thing will Jareth do on their first date? c:

**Chapter Title Reference:** _Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy_. Don't look at me like that. It was appropriate.


	2. Called From Nothing At All

**Chapter 2: Called From Nothing At All**

* * *

Freshly pink from her shower, Sarah was not dressed when Jareth arrived.

Oh, she was wearing clothes. She hadn't been prepared to make _that_ mistake, but she wasn't wearing clothes she would be caught dead in outside the confines of her apartment. But the fact remained that she didn't know how to treat this date arrangement thing. Nor how to dress for it.

First date chic or I'm-being-blackmailed-into-this-and-don't-care-in- the-slightest-what-I-look-like-and-you're-just-luc ky-I'm-probably-not-wearing-sweats daring?

There was also the matter of the man's imperious demand that she wear something red.

Sarah naturally planned to do no such thing.

At some point, the Goblin King seemed to have cottoned on to this fact.

She should have expected it, really. After the third conspicuously _not_ red top in a row, Sarah turned back to her closet to find the contents altered.

_That spying, sanctimonious_-

Turning to her chest-of-drawers, she found the contents changed as well.

In fact, every single article of clothing she owned from her outerwear all the way down to her skivvies had been turned varying garish shades of red, and absolutely _none_ of them matched. Neither the clothes she had discarded moments prior, nor her dirty laundry, had been spared.

Looking down at her current attire again, it too had been subjected to Red-A-Palooza 2000.

"_Jareth_!"

The man, or Fae- she really needed to get that clarified at some point, himself was a no show. He seemed to have some sense of self-preservation, but if he intended to go through with this whole farce, he would have to show up _eventually_.

About the time her blood pressure began to skyrocket, and she started seeing figurative red in addition to the literal, Sarah caught a glimmer out of the corner of her eye.

There, hanging on the doorframe of her wardrobe as though it had every right to be, was a dress.

It was a candy-apple red number she had never seen before in her life; the thing was a tastefully shimmery, flirty, a-line cut. Worst of all, she actually kind of_ liked_ it. It was by no means immodest, but it happened to be a good deal shorter than she felt entirely comfortable with for a first date to unknown destination with a Goblin King of questionable intent.

Thus leading her to her current predicament.

"Sarah."

The puff of breath caressed her ear at precisely seven o'clock on New Year's day. Sarah spun to find her tormenter nowhere in sight.

"Sarah, Sarah, you're not dressed. This won't do at all."

She turned to give the infuriating man a piece of her mind, but his attire thwarted her. Momentarily.

_Oh, hot damn and Merry Christmas to me._

_Whoa girl, it's just a suit. A particularly well tailored suit. But just a suit, nonetheless._

It wasn't just the suit though, he'd ditched what she assumed was eye make up, but most drastically and importantly, he had changed his _hair_. She felt an irrational pang at its loss, and hoped that this was just some sort of glamor. She _liked_ his hair, even if it make him look like some sort of eighties rocker. It worked.

Though, the bit of scruff he'd picked up since earlier in the day _also_ worked. And the tamer shorter version of his hair wasn't_ terrible._ It fit the suit, after all.

Movement drew her attention back down to his hands. His ungloved hands. For some reason, she thought that detail was important. _And, wow, a man adjusting his cuff links ought not be something attractive_. In another person, it may have been construed as nervous fidgeting. But by the way the Goblin King was looking her directly in the eye, well, it just had to be calculated nonchalance.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. There was no way he was that naturally mesmerizing.

Oh, and then she had to go and ruin the whole illusion by shifting her gaze and taking in the smug satisfaction dancing across his face.

"Now, if my apparel has met your standards, get dressed, if you would be so kind."

"I'm not wearing _that_," She told him flatly, gesturing toward the summery dress. "It's January and below freezing outside by now."

He tilted his head, grinning indulgently.

"I promise you, Sarah, that you will suffer no hardships due to the weather whilst wearing that gown."

Sarah gave him a look that conveyed just how generous he was with the terming it a gown.

He made _the face_ in response: the face she was swiftly coming to learn meant he thought her amusing and was likely about to say something indecent.

"Or, if you prefer, we could stay in and engage in other pleasurable activities," Jareth shrugged, as though ti was all the same to him.

The thing this disturbed her most was that the notion was _not_ completely abhorrent.

_Dinner then._ Dinner was probably relatively safe. _Well, safer than staying in at any rate. That _was a disaster waiting to happen. And he'd probably call some sort of nonsense about how it wouldn't be a proper date since she had not followed his plan.

Sarah grimaced. She would have to _compromise._

"Fine. I'll wear the damned thing, if you put the rest of my clothes back to the way they were before you decided to tamper with them."

This time his countenance was all innocence. Obviously he had been- or would be- up to mischief. It was amazing what one could learn of the Goblin King's expressions in a few scant meetings. She would probably be qualified to teach a class in the art of Goblin King reading, by the end of the evening.

"I've no idea what you mean. But please, wear the dress, Sarah. It suits you."

He left her to change- or more likely to embrace the opportunity to snoop more around her apartment. Not that that bothered her really. He had already managed to find the most embarrassing thing she owned when left alone for less than five minutes. Sarah backtracked mentally and blanched. He _probably_ found the most embarrassing thing she owned and she hoped that any other things she might or might not own were secured from prying eyes.

She dressed in record time, finding that matching heels had appeared while she had been busy frantically yanking and chasing the dress' zipper.

Fairly bursting out of her bedroom, Sarah was surprised to find the king simply lounging on the couch. In the next instant, Jareth stood beside her, offering his arm.

She refused to be rattled by his magical disappearing-reappearing act.

"So, where are we going?"

"Just dinner tonight, love. Traditional and quaint. I plan on ensnaring you, not dissuading you from my company."

She rolled her eyes but took his arm. The world tilted on its side from one moment to the next. And suddenly she realized that she was leaning heavily on the Goblin King, who seemed to be thoroughly amused.

Sarah steadied herself and pulled free from his idle embrace. She may have agreed to try to enjoy herself but that didn't mean she necessarily had to make his goal any easier. And by the way he had been running soothing patterns up and down her arms-

That line of thought could only get her into trouble, so Sarah decided to take in their surroundings. A restaurant. Unfamiliar, but fancy and far from her definition of quaint. Most notably, while she could hear low restaurant chatter from a distance, the large section in which they had appeared was _empty_.

_Surely he didn't rent out the whole-_

She never got the chance to contemplate further, as Jareth directed her to a small table set for two, seating her and then himself. Apparently, there was no need to order, for as soon as they sat, servers materialized delivering the beginnings of a fantastic feast.

Before she could become terribly enraptured in the ambience of fine dining, Sarah's brain chose to do her a service and remember one of Jareth's earlier transgressions which had yet to be addressed.

"You were spying on me. Earlier, when I was picking out clothes."

"I assure you that have no idea of what you are speaking, precious thing."

"Don't play innocent, Jareth," she rolled her eyes. He _would_ pretend he had no part in her clothing situation. "It doesn't suit you, and you can't pull it off."

The Goblin King actually huffed.

"Very well, for the sake of such a hypothetical argument, how are you so sure that I would not have merely predicted your intransigence? You _are_ a contrary being by nature."

His argument was plausible, but only just.

"Fine. Don't admit it. But I have my eye on you buster. No funny business."

"Very well."

The bastard smirked at her. She closed her eyes and counted to ten, wondering what she could have possibly done to deserve the undivided attention of such an infuriating man.

"So," she started, trying for a topic that would not end with her further annoyed at her date. "How are things in the Goblin Kingdom?"

Jareth's nose wrinkled.

"I'm bored to death of politics, precious. I'm far more interested in hearing about _you,_ rather than discussing the dearth of intelligent life in my kingdom."

"Well that's hardly fair. You already know all about me, and I know barely anything about you at all."

"Would you care to make a game of it?"

His words may have been casual, but his expression was not. The intensity she glimpsed earlier in the day was once again present, and Sarah faltered, for just a moment.

"No," she mumbled. It was his grimace of disappointment that caused her to hastily add, "next time."

"I'll hold you to that," he nodded, apparently content.

_Aw, fuck._ There went her mouth again, getting her into trouble.

Somewhat to her surprise, he refocused their conversation to inane anecdotes, never straying too far into their personal lives, yet making her laugh all the same. Sarah had never envisioned chitchatting with the Goblin King to be a pleasant experience yet, oddly enough, it _was_. But that didn't mean she was prepared to let her guard down.

All throughout dinner, Sarah waited for the ball to drop; she still couldn't quite believe his intentions. For his part Jareth found her wariness inordinately amusing and had taken to startling her when there was a lull in conversation.

And by startling, she meant maddening, fleeting touches, which could have been imagined, but she was quite sure she had not. Sarah followed the natural course of action and did her very best to pretend none of them happened, while perhaps sneaking in a few brazen ones of her own. Another game, she realized. But it was the sort of game engaged in by people mutually attracted to each other, and for the moment, she could not bring herself to question it when the whole_ thing_ was surreal. Magical transport and seclusion aside, it had been the most normal, chemistry-fueled date she had ever had. In fact, it had been chick-flick stereotypical _perfect_.

_Damn him._ Despite the bumpy beginning to the evening, Sarah felt suitably impressed and was only mildly surprised to find that she had actually enjoyed Jareth's company. She felt oddly reluctant to return home and let the night end.

Eventually though, the hour grew late, and the last course had been cleared away. The Goblin King rose, once again offering his arm.

A bout of slight dizziness later did not diminish the realization that the Goblin King was back in her apartment for the_ fourth_ time that day. She hoped this wasn't going to turn into one of those weird clingy boyfriend things. She didn't think it would, but better safe than sorry.

"Okay Jareth, the date was lovely. Goodnight."

"No goodnight kiss?" He pouted, but allowed her to draw away.

"I think you got all thirteen of your goodnight kisses this afternoon."

Sarah had never had much use for the word 'chortle' before, but that's exactly what he did.

"Sarah, Sarah, that was only a _taste_."

Before she had a chance to consider what that meant, he went in for the kill- only to find Sarah's index finger resting across his lip. He was perilously close to using that to his advantage.

_Stay strong, Sarah-girl._

"Ah-ah, kisses were never specified as part of the deal," she demurred coyly, "but maybe we could arrange something."

"Oh, yes," he agreed.

Jareth had yet to change back to his normal attire.

Finally something on this crazy day was working to her advantage. She grasped him by the tie and began to coax him forward toward her bedroom.

By the surprised gleam in his eye, she knew what he expected next, and Sarah was just as eager. She turned back to face him fully as she inched backward toward the door, twisting the knob-

And opened up the hall closet and directed his hand to the handle of her trusty vacuum cleaner much to the bemusement of a freshly addled king.

Sarah took advantage of his momentary lapse to lean forward and whisper in his ear, "Next time, if you want a goodnight kiss, I would advise you to not leave my sitting room a glittering wreck. Cleany-cleany, Goblin Kingy."

With heretofore-undemonstrated speed, Sarah gave the king a peck on the cheek- it was totally more than he deserved- and flounced off to her room, locking the door behind her.

* * *

**A/N:** This has been mostly finished for weeks, but every time I went to work on it, I couldn't get those last few hundred words out. (I'm terrible at middles of chapters. The worst. I can begin and end, but _middles_. Awful. Utter tripe. Always. Not to mention that what I had originally intended for that part was really better suited for a later chapter, sooo. Something to look forward to, perhaps?) Sorry if you've been sitting on pins and needles waiting on this; it's been kind of toward the bottom of my fic priorities, but luckily for you, it refused to let me write anything else until I finished this chapter at the very least. I think that's all. Now I need to go work on my projects that have been neglected in favor of this. ._. Until next time!


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